If you’ve ever found yourself wondering “Why is my divorce so hard?” or “Why does my ex behave like this?”, you’re not alone and you’re not imagining it.
Every separation has a behavioural pattern, and once you understand which one you’re dealing with, everything becomes clearer:

✔ why communication keeps failing
✔ why negotiations go nowhere
✔ why you feel exhausted, anxious, or unsafe
✔ why your ex reacts the way they do
✔ why your strategy hasn’t been working

In this episode of The Divorce Course Podcast, we guide you through our 20-question Divorce Personality Quiz, designed to help you identify your divorce dynamic and use it to shape a safer, smarter, more effective strategy.

This episode isn’t about labelling people  it’s about giving you clarity.

💡 Why Your Divorce Type Matters

Your ex’s behaviour isn’t random.
It fits one of four clear categories:

1. Amicable

Usually cooperative  but beware of people-pleasing disguised as teamwork.

2. Avoidant

Emotionally absent, passive, disengaged, and frustratingly slow.

3. High Conflict

Reactive, defensive, argumentative thrives on escalation.

4. Manipulative or Controlling

Uses guilt, unpredictability, pressure, threats, or emotional tactics for power.

Each one requires a completely different approach, boundary style, and communication strategy. What works beautifully with an amicable ex will fail miserably with a controlling one.
Likewise, avoidant exes require completely different tactics compared to high-conflict exes.

Once you know your type, you can stop guessing  and start planning.

🧠 Take the Quiz: What Type of Divorce Are You In?

Inside the episode, we walk you through all 20 questions to help you uncover your dynamic.

Want the quiz as a free printable worksheet?
Download join the newsletter and you’ll be emailed it:
👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/quiz

🔍 What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Throughout the quiz, we explore:

• Who drives decision-making in your separation
• How your ex handles boundaries
• What their money behaviour reveals
• Whether conflict is accidental or strategic
• How they use children, deadlines, or information
• Whether safety planning may be appropriate
• Why certain conversations always end in chaos
• Why some divorces never progress
• Why some exes escalate everything
• How emotional manipulation can quietly shape the entire divorce

It’s eye-opening, empowering, and often the moment listeners say,
“Oh. This finally makes sense.”

❤️ If You're Dealing With a Manipulative or Controlling Ex…

This quiz often brings clarity to women experiencing coercive control  even if there has never been physical violence.
If the questions spark concerns, trust yourself.

Support is available.
1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732
Lifeline – 13 11 14

You are not alone.

🎧 Ready to Understand Your Divorce Dynamic?

Listen to the full episode now and take the quiz with us.
If you love practical tools that help you stay calm, confident and informed, you will absolutely love this one.

👉 Join our newsletter for the printable + bonus guidance

When you understand the type of divorce you’re facing…
you can finally choose the right strategy, protect your peace, and stop wasting time on approaches that will never work with your ex.

You deserve clarity.
You deserve safety.
You deserve a path forward that actually works for your situation.

🎧 Listen to this episode if…

• You want to take the quiz and finally understand your ex’s divorce behaviour
• You're confused about why your divorce feels so hard
• You’re not sure how to communicate or negotiate with your ex
• You suspect you’re dealing with avoidance, conflict, or control or you are a people pleaser.
• You’re tired of being blindsided and want clarity
• You want a divorce strategy that matches the actual dynamic you're in
• You want a downloadable, printable version of the quiz
• You love practical tools that help you feel calm, informed, and back in control

Trigger warning there are discussions of Family Violence & Coercive Control. 

Legal Warning: this is not legal advice

📝 Episode Summary

In this episode, Laura and Lyn guide you through the 20-question Divorce Personality Quiz, designed to help you identify the divorce pattern you're dealing with

Your divorce type affects:

• your communication strategy
• your negotiation style
• whether mediation will work
• how to set boundaries
• what evidence you need
• how to emotionally protect yourself
• whether safety planning is appropriate

You’ll take the quiz with us live inside the episode and learn what each answer (A, B, C, or D) reveals about your ex’s behaviour. This insight can transform your divorce experience by helping you understand what’s really happening and why your current approach may or may not be working.

And if you want the free downloadable PDF of the quiz, a printable results sheet, and access to our bonus email guide “How to Strategise Based on Your Divorce Type”, head to:

👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
(Join the newsletter and we’ll send the printable straight to your inbox.)

This episode includes general behavioural discussion, not legal advice.

⏱️ Episode Timeline

00:00 Introduction: What Divorce Type Are You Dealing With?

00:36 Why Identifying Your Divorce Type Matters for Your Strategy

00:58 Overview of the Four Divorce Types: Amicable, Avoidant, High-Conflict & Controlling

01:14 How to Take the Divorce Personality Quiz

01:39 Meet Your Hosts and Episode Overview

02:11 Understanding Divorce Personality Types & Behaviour Patterns

03:15 Divorce Quiz Part 1: Decision-Making, Conflict & Communication

05:51 What Your Answers Mean: Interpreting the First Quiz Results

09:40 Divorce Quiz Part 2: Boundaries, Money Issues & Emotional Safety

19:05 Divorce Quiz Part 3: Rules, Power Imbalances & Information Control

25:23 Final Divorce Quiz Questions + Strategy Insights

30:08 Recognising Manipulative or Controlling Divorce Dynamics

31:41 How to Identify Your Divorce Type From Your Quiz Results

32:30 Amicable Divorce: Strengths, Risks & When It Fails

35:14 Avoidant Ex Partners: Why Progress Feels Impossible

38:23 High-Conflict Divorce Explained: Escalation, Triggers & Survival Strategies

41:16 Controlling or Coercive Ex Partners: Red Flags & Safety Considerations

44:40 How to Create a Safety Plan During Divorce

48:20 Helpful Resources, Support Services & Next Steps

52:49 Final Thoughts: Matching Your Strategy to Your Ex’s Behaviour

🔗 Links & Resources

✨ Download the FREE Divorce Personality Quiz Printable
👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/quiz

✨ Join the Newsletter for Bonus Divorce Strategy Tools
(We only send practical, supportive content — no fluff.)

✨ Safety & Support Resources
1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732
Lifeline – 13 11 14

Episodes Mentioned in “The Divorce Personality Quiz” Transcript

10 Boundaries You Should Set Up Before Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=Eb_uqTJnSbS2Vtyz80tBmQ

The Purple Book Episode (Coercive Control & Abuse Patterns)

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1ccm01eMpJ3TMZa2uMaUMN?si=WJ7wQy9mTmKYhd2sTPiO0g

The Original “Divorce Personality Types” Episode

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1X89h1IBOUa0QFxiICIuwo?si=neoemW5URuubT8VYaGjlPw

If this episode helped you finally understand the behaviour you’ve been dealing with, please follow, rate and review the podcast. And don’t forget to grab your FREE quiz download — it’s one of the most powerful tools to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and confidence.